Bittersweet

So I have been thinking about this all night at work. My newest patient is now on Hospice care. For those who don't know what that is, it basically is care to die at home. My patient is 7 months old. To give a little background on my patient. During or right before birth the mom had I think her placenta abrupt. That is a VERY bad thing to have happen. Not only did my patient suffer injuries from that but the cord was also looped around a couple of times.

So the results of this unfortunate accident was that my patient has no gag or swallow reflex, so that meant either a tube down the nose or implanted in the stomach to get food. That also meant that the normal saliva that builds up in our months just sits there and either drains back down into lungs or gets suctioned out. My patient also has very spastic and tight muscles and is very developmentally delayed.

As you can see the prognosis for this patient was not very good from the beginning. My first look at my patient and I knew that they would need care all their life. My patient has been in and out of the hospital with respiratory problems and having too much junk in the lungs. I guess last week my patient had a really bad seizure and was life flighted to Primary Children's. At this time they decided to sign a DNR ( DO not Resuscitate).

Now I cannot begin to imagine the sorrow that they are feeling that the death of their child is of their own doing. I so desperately wanted to share a comforting message of the Plan of Salvation but knew that I would get into major trouble at work.  I know that each culture handles death differently ( thank you nursing school), and you can see that for some of the family that was there they understood and were ok and others kept hoping for a miracle.

So along with this process and current family situations I have been thinking a lot about families and the plan of salvation. I am so grateful for it. I know that losing anybody is heartbreaking but the knowledge that you may be able to see them again seems to lessen the blow a little bit. I was also thinking just how ingenious the whole plan is. Who do you love the most? Family, parents, spouse, children, siblings. They truly are the most important relationships here on this earth. What a comfort it is to me to know that I can and will be with my family forever! Not only my siblings whom I love so dearly but the family that Justin and I will have. It makes my heart just burst with happiness. =)

My little patient might not have much longer but I know that they are Child of God and that they came here for a purpose. If anything to teach me to love my patients more and be attentive to their needs.